May 11, 2016

Marriage Breakdown: When Divorce Is Inevitable

Divorce, Marriage

If your marriage is on the verge of ending, it can feel like you are grasping at straws to try to hold it together. Sometimes it is best to just stop holding on and to let the relationship go. There are some times when you can reconcile with your spouse and begin to work together to heal the relationship — there are other times when it is impossible, and to attempt to fix the relationship problems is only to make them worse.

When it comes to divorce, or possible divorce, having forced the marriage to stretch beyond its comfortable tensions — having tried to fix a broken relationship with no chance of being fixed — can lead to legal tensions and a messier divorce process. There are several signs that your marriage is one that should be let go gracefully, rather than trying to hold on.

One sign is if both people in the couple have absolute contempt for each other. This extends past bickering and anger. If both members of the couple cannot help but point fingers, argue sarcastically, and play unfair when it comes to fighting, it is unlikely that the marriage can be saved. Once that relationship of disconnect has been created, it is very difficult to ease the bickering and reframe the marital conversation.

Another relationship problem that may be impossible to surmount is if one or both members of the marriage are unwilling to stop arguing, or to stop being unfaithful. Arguments happen. But if one (or both) members of the couple cannot carry on a conversation without arguing, it may not be possible to overcome this. The same goes for chronic infidelity. Extramarital affairs happen — but if they happen over and over again, the pattern may not be reversible.

General incompatibility is also one issue in a marriage that may not be possible to fix. This can refer to social behavior, sexual behavior, general preferences. If you and your spouse have an entirely disparate definition of what makes for a fun weekend night, or if you and your spouse are completely unaligned when it comes to sexual activity, it may be impossible to overcome. This may be the case even if you and your spouses are not arguing about these things, but both suffering through the issue alone.

If you are considering divorce, the most important step is to seek legal counsel. Only when working with a qualified professional can you begin the process smartly, leading to an overall much easier process. Do not go through it alone. Contact an experienced DuPage County family law attorney today.