August 28, 2014

Advice for Divorced Dads

Child Custody, Children of Divorce, Divorce Trends, Illinois family law attorney

Being a divorced parent can be a difficult role for any adult. Not only does he or she have to deal with the fallout of the failure of marriage and partnership, divorced parents who are the non-custodial parent may also deal with the loss of regular contact with children.

Illinois awards custody to whomever the court deems as the parent in the best interest of the children. Non-custodial parents are awarded visitation rights based on the best interests of the children as well. Fathers are not, by definition, awarded custody less often than mothers. However, if the father was the primary breadwinner in the family and the mother stayed at home with the children, the mother may likely be awarded custody of the children.

With that said, one Huffington Post blogger warns fathers of divorce to remember that a divorce from one’s wife is not a divorce from one’s children. Author Joel Schwartzberg shares, “Having been through a divorce, I know the minute a divorced dad steps into his new life … he can easily feel like he broke up with his kids as well as his wife.” Instead, divorced fathers should consider divorce as a way to reconnect in a perhaps deeper and more intimate way with their children than they were able to during marriage.

Because many fathers are out of the house more than mothers, it can often feel as if a father has very little one-on-one time with children. Once a father has visitation with his children, he can spend that qualify time with them in a way he was unable to do so before. Committing to regular visits and activities with children after divorce is crucial—as is not breaking plans. If a father keeps up a regular routine with his children after divorce, he will likely be able to foster a new and healthy relationship with them.

If you or someone you know is going through a divorce in Illinois and is facing a custody battle, the importance of seeking legal counsel cannot be overstated. Do not go through it alone. Contact a compassionate DuPage County divorce attorney today who can guide you through every step of the process.