August 7, 2015

Divorce Can Make You a Better Parent

Children of Divorce, Divorce, Illinois divorce lawyer, Illinois family law attorney

Contrary to sometimes-popular belief, divorce can be good for children. If the marriage is especially explosive, it can be more detrimental to a child’s psyche than the dissolution of the union of his or her parents. When parents who are not in love—or who have an especially volatile relationship—“stay together for the kids,” it can often teach the children wrong lessons about relationships and support, marriage and love. Some studies show that children whose parents divorce actually have a better understanding of true love and devotion in the future, if not to a significant other, than of the relationship between parent and child.

The same contrary truth can apply to parenting as well. While it may seem that you are being a worse parent by separating the child from his or her other parent, divorce can help to make you a better parent in some ways. One way in which divorce can make you a better parent is that your attention is entirely focused on the needs of your children, rather than trying to balance your attention between them and your spouse.

This is especially true if a reason that led to divorce was the inability of one spouse to contribute to household work, to pull his or her own as a grown partner in the marriage. It can also be true if one spouse was especially irritable or stressed out—removing this from the equation of the relationship with your children allows you to focus wholly on them and their needs.

Single parenting, of course, can be difficult. There is less money and less time and more complications to navigate alone. Children, however, can benefit from watching you learn how to overcome these obstacles—they learn to be self-reliant, sufficient, how to seek creative out-of-the-box solutions, and they learn the value of a dollar. You also have the ability to create new traditions with your children, without having to ensure that your spouse is on board or that he or she wants to participate. Always wanted to volunteer at a nursing home during the holidays as a family but your spouse never wanted to go? These are the types of opportunities single parenthood opens for you—and for your children.

If you or someone you know is considering divorce and has children, the most important step is to seek legal counsel. Contact an experienced DuPage County family law attorney at Mulyk Laho Law, LLC today. Call (630) 852-1100 to schedule an initial consultation.