There are several reasons that a couple may face divorce. While sexual infidelity may be a leading reason, according to several studies, extramarital affairs, and even perpetual infidelity, is no longer the leading reason that divorced couples cite as the reason for their split. The leading reason for divorce is that people should never have been together to begin with: Marrying for the wrong reasons (whether for money, for supportive financial reasons, because the couple shared children, or because of familial or societal pressure to do so) is the number one reason cited for marital dissolution.
The second most-cited reason is that either one or neither person in the couple was able to maintain a sense of personal and individual identity. Any type of relationship in which one or both partners is codependent on the other — meaning that he or she is unable to function without the other, hesitant of making new friendships, uninterested in expressing him or herself outside of the couple unit — is doomed to failure. If we do not work on cultivating our personal selves, we have very little to bring to the table in a relationship. Becoming lost in the roles of marriage, and not having a shared idea of what marital success looks like are also cited as top reasons. It is easy to sink into the perceived notions of what you expected your marriage to look like — and this, bottom line, can lead to divorce.
These reasons may not seem surprising. A new study, however, shows that in addition to these deeper and more personal reason for dissolution, one leading reason for divorce comes from sarcastic small behaviors that slowly erode at trust and comfort in a relationship. Contemptuous behavior, such as name-calling and eye-rolling, are signs of emotional withdrawal from a marriage, similarly to criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling. That is to say, when one or both partners in the marriage is unable to hide his or her frustration with the other, it may be fair to say that the marriage will not be able to hide its faults, and that the couple is headed for divorce.
If you are experiencing these or any other type of behavior or emotions and are considering divorce, the most important step is to seek legal counsel. Do not go through it alone. Contact an experienced DuPage County family law attorney today.