Lack of sex is one major and very socially acceptable reason for divorce, yet lack of sex — or frequency of it — is a very subjective line to draw. What one couple may call a sexless marriage, another may call very sexually active. So how to draw the line of what is considered a sexless marriage, especially if it is what is the major reason for a couple’s impending divorce?
One major distinction that can be made is when adultery or infidelity is a part of the equation. According to some psychological surveys, the lack of sex in a relationship is one major reason for adultery. Many consider a lack of sex in a marriage a betrayal similar to infidelity. In a case such as this, is adultery excusable? What is the difference between refusing to have sex occasionally and a truly sexless marriage?
A sexless marriage is more common than one may think. And it can be a catch-22: does the lack of sex disintegrate a marriage? Or does the disintegration of a marriage lead to a lack of sex in the relationship? Some people claim that it is the stress of a marriage — the difficulty of living with one person day in and day out, the complications that arise from trying to forge to independent lives, desires, goals for life ultimately lead to a breakdown in intimacy, which in turn leads to a sexless relationship.
There are several reasons as to why this conception is problematic — not least of which because a marriage, a life partnership, is meant to enhance one’s life, to make it easier and happier; not ruin it or make it more difficult.
Research shows that up to 20 percent of marriages are sexless. This is not even considering the roughly 50 percent of marriages that end in divorce. It is not always that the love in the marriage is gone—just the desire for sexual intimacy.
If you think that your marriage is headed toward becoming one without sexual intimacy, be sure that you are making private time together, and that you both feel comfortable within the physical parameters of your home. Try to initiate sex. Talk to a therapist. Rather than allowing the problem to become one that lurks in the shadows of your bedroom, try to address it head on and solve it together.
If that does not work and your sexless marriage has you considering divorce, do not go through it alone. Contact an experienced DuPage County family law attorney today.