If you believe your marriage is coming to an end, telling your spouse that you want a divorce can be extremely difficult.

Despite several years of fighting or failing to get along, the desire to divorce may come as a surprise to your spouse. Knowing how your spouse feels and the way in which you approach the topic of divorce will have long-lasting and far-reaching effects as to how the divorce plays out.

According to The Huffington Post, there are several factors to bear in mind when telling your spouse that you want a divorce. Each can help ease the difficulty of the process.

First, choose the right place and time. Be sure to not tell your spouse in a time that coincides with another major life event, such as being laid off from work or when one of you is severely ill. The situation alone will be difficult. Therefore you will want to minimize the complex emotions by initiating the conversation when there is not another major life event occurring. Moreover, make sure you both have enough time to actually talk, and without interruption. Also, be prepared for your spouse’s reaction. Understanding where he or she is emotionally will help both of you understand what the other needs.

If your spouse was not expecting or considering divorce, he or she will likely attempt to dissuade you from the decision. Be gentle but firm, reports The Huffington Post. Frame the conversation in “I” instead of “You” statements. Rather than trying to blame your spouse, frame the conversation in a way to explain how you are feeling instead of trying to find fault.

No matter how you tell your spouse, divorce is a process best undertaken with the assistance of a legal professional. Do not go through it alone. Contact a dedicated DuPage County divorce attorney today.